'Should statements,' as psychologists know them, are one of our least helpful thinking habits. When we tell ourselves we 'should' do something we put unnecessary and unhelpful pressure on ourselves. We feel resentful and cranky and paradoxically, we're less likely to do thing we're telling ourselves we should. But what can we do about it?
Are you an introvert? Or an extravert? Are you exhausted interacting with others? Or energised? Do you prefer a quiet night in reading? Or a big night out partying? Do you do your best thinking alone, or in a group? Or maybe you're an 'ambivert' - someone who can and does do all of the above?
Before you adopt your pro or anti Thermomix stance, let me assure you that this post is not about Thermomixes. Food preparation, beyond the necessary, is not really my thing and I must admit that I have never laid eyes on a TMX (I have been reading a lot of forum posts about them though - hence I'm down with the acronym *wink*)
This post was prompted by the passionate reaction to this very distressing story about a woman burnt in an alleged Thermomix failure. In fact this post is prompted by every social media furore over something that seems, on the face of it, to be disproportionate to the issue at hand. Why do we get so angry about a kitchen appliance? Why are we incensed by a model jogging in a bikini?
It's time to fess up. Are you a perfectionist? Do you set yourself high standards and then get cranky when you don't live up to them? Do you expect a lot from others and then get disappointed when they don't cut it? Are you procrastinating over something because it's easier to do that than to face the possibility that you won't do it perfectly?
Perfectionism is a curse that many of us live with but there is hope. You can overcome it - or at least temper it a bit so that life is not quite so overwhelming.
Last week I wrote about how to prioritise and so many of you wrote back and said, ‘I need to try this!’ It seems we’re all getting stuck in the hamster wheel of doing and we need to spend a bit more time prioritising what we’re doing and why.
Getting your values, the things that are most important to you, clear in your mind (or preferably out of your mind and on to paper or screen), is a really simple way to quickly identify your priorities. Once you know your priorities you’re much more likely to spend your time doing the stuff that’s important and meaningful and goal pursuant than if you’re just reacting to what pops up in front of you.